My Immortal
by celia princessa
Summary: Arawen OC deals with the death of her father Aragorn but letting go isn't instant. Please R&R!


Back by popular demand, an Evanescence songfic featuring Arawen! She's younger in the start of this one, and it takes place right after Aragorn's *sniffle* death. I got so many good reviews on Bring Me to Life that I decided to do another. I hope you all like it!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or any of its characters, nor do I own the song "My Immortal" off of the Evanescence album "Fallen".  
  
I'm so tired of being here  
  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
  
Arawen leaned against the balcony of her room, her black dress billowing all around her as the wind picked up. She could see the people below gathering for her father's funeral. For some reason, tears just wouldn't come as she watched them. But she looked at Gondor through aged eyes, even though she was hardly thirty years of age. She was tired of being in Gondor already, tired of the haunts of her childhood.  
  
But one haunt would never leave.  
  
And if you have to leave  
  
I wish that you would just leave  
  
Because your presence still lingers here  
  
And it won't leave me alone  
  
Arawen walked through the castle, on her way out to the funeral. She wore a stoic expression, ignoring the weeping of her two foolish sisters behind her. She wanted to get this over with as soon as she could, and didn't waste time crying. Crying was useless; it wouldn't bring Aragorn back. But as she strode towards the great doors of her home, she could see evidence of her father's reign everywhere. She didn't want to look at them.   
  
All they did was bother her with the fact that her father wasn't coming back this time.  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
Arawen stared at the ground with empty eyes. She was fighting back the emotion that was pushing its way up. Seeing her mother silently weeping under the black veil which covered her face had finally broken her heart. The fresh, raw wounds began to bleed, nearly driving her to tears. But no. She was the strongest in her family now. Even though Eldarion was now king, Arawen was the backbone of the royal family of Gondor.  
  
A single tear rolled down her face as she thought of the past.  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
"Papa, what's the matter?" a ten-year-old Arawen said in alarm as soon as she found her father crying in the garden. Aragorn looked up. He was silent, but tears ran freely down his face. None of his children would ever know it, but his second son had just been stillborn. He shook his head, and Arawen walked up to him.  
  
She kissed the freshest tear that slid down his face.  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
Sixteen-year-old Arawen huddled on the bed in her room, wrapped up in her quilt. She had just heard her father's screams, meaning he'd had a nightmare, and a bad one at that. Horrors of the War of the Ring still haunted Aragorn, and they slipped into his dreams at night sometimes. Arawen shook like mad as she heard the newest scream. It seemed as his fears were creeping into her now.  
  
She shuddered as sobs racked her body.  
  
And I've held your hand through all of these years  
  
Arawen sat by her father's side, clutching his hand. His life was dwindling, but still she talked to him as if it were just an ordinary day. She was babbling, she knew, but she didn't want to face the fact that he was about to leave her. Finally she stopped talking and just held his hand. "Papa," she said, using the childish name. "I love you." Aragorn tried to talk, and Arawen put her ear close to his lips. "Go get your mother," he said.  
  
"And I love you, Arawen."   
  
But you still have all of me  
  
Arawen gave up the battle and let tears roll freely down her face as she looked at her father's body. Aragorn's face was still quite handsome for someone of his age, but Arawen longed for the beautiful eyes that he had passed on to her to open. She felt a giant hole be ripped open viciously in her heart, and she knew that part of her heart was going with her father.  
  
He had taken her with him.  
  
You used to captivate me by your resonating light  
  
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
  
Arawen sighed as she kept watch. A song seemed to tug at her mind, a song her father had often sang to her. But she pushed it away as she glanced at Carl's sleeping figure. Her eyes caught the glittering of the Ring around his neck, and she was reminded of her fate. All of line of Isildur would always be bound to the One Ring, and she, like her father before her, was no excuse.   
  
She played the exact same role he did.  
  
Your face haunts my once pleasant dreams  
  
Your voice has chased away all of the sanity in me  
  
Arawen woke from her fitful sleep. A cold sweat covered her body, and she was breathing hard. Another dream. In it, her father had stood before her. She had run to him, but only to run right through him. But somehow he was able to reach her, and throw her on her back. He had her cowering at sword point before she had woken up. His voice had said words too terrible for her to even want to recall.  
  
And as the trees of Lorien whispered, Arawen wondered if she had lost her mind.  
  
These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase  
  
Arawen let the tears fall freely as Elfwine held her in his warm embrace. Her wounds from her father's death had never fully healed. Her brother's death had re-opened them. But now the pain from both of the events came together and she sobbed bitterly. Time had not healed them. And as far as she knew, nothing could ever heal them.  
  
The pain was just too intense.  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have all of me  
  
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
  
Arawen turned away from her father's portrait, cursing the tears that were falling down her face. She flung the door open and went to what was once her room. She flung herself upon the bed, crying until she could cry no more. Why couldn't she face these facts? Aragorn was dead! He would never come back! She slammed her fist into the pillows as she repeatedly told herself this.  
  
But it did not ease the pain.  
  
But though you're still with me  
  
I've been alone all along  
  
Arawen sighed. Her hands felt Elfwine's arms around her waist. He was sleeping, but she couldn't. Although she was in the arms of her lover, she couldn't shake off the feeling of loneliness. Battle awaited her tomorrow, she knew, and she would go into it alone, ignoring the armies of both Gondor and Rohan. The hole in her heart that her father had filled still lay empty. She felt Elfwine's body stir slightly, and she shut her eyes.  
  
His lips grazed her ear as he whispered, "You are not alone."  
  
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
And I held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have all of me  
  
Arawen sighed as she fell into Elfwine's arms. During the long, hard war she had finally found that her father was immortal. Knowing that had made it easier for her to let him go. He no longer had all of her. He had a part of her, but not all of her. Soon, she would follow in his footsteps and become Queen of Gondor.   
  
Arawen closed her eyes and let Elfwine's passionate kiss wash over her.  
  
So, that was it! A few spoilers, but not many! If you want more, let me know! 


End file.
